Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize