they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
soo... how was my night?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
