well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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