I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
