So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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