You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
