i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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