Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
