are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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