I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
