eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize