you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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