Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
