She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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