I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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