I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I FOUND THE LEGS
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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