i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
