We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
