third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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