I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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