Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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