smell my finger.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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