Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we're making bets on your personal life
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
