Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
