what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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