Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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