Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This couple is walking their pig around campus
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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