he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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