Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can't put those talents on a resume
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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