Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
