It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize
