today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
