Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
