I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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