I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Randomize
