We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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