That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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