My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
