Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
