I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
