He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
this will be a night to untag.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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