Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
