Non-Jews are for practice
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
