My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
