there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
