I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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