How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
