What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
