the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
