so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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