i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
