he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize