Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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