I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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