Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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